THE ARTISAN, BANDRA KURLA COMPLEX

Hardly three years old, the Sofitel Mumbai is home to many a discerning restaurant. I decide to try out the Artisan, a Parisian-inspired, multi-dimensional culinary experience.

The interiors are indeed sophisticated - velvet decor seems to be the trend of the moment - while staff greet customers with a dutiful Bonjour Namaskaar, in keeping with the company culture of fusing French values with local flavour appropriate to each country.

A large centre table holds command, encouraging typical European communal dining. The entire space houses four elements during the day: a charcuterie for deli meats, a patisserie, a chocolaterie, and an a la carte menu with a small selection of salads, pasta salads and sandwiches.

The charcuterie holds a number of sausages and cured meats prepared in house, thanks to German chef Hans Hartman, who was flown specifically to revamp the somewhat flailing menu, training staff to prepare typically European-style sausages and cold cuts, with a local twist.

Admittedly the pale look of the meats on display do little to rouse my excitement - my critical eye has been conditioned to associate deli meat with fiery red and smouldering dark brown hues. Let’s hope the tastebuds disagree.

The pork Neurenberg sausage makes me smirk - its more than miniature length and girth would surely fail to make an impact on anyone’s tastebuds. I am mistaken - although small, this is an authentic pork breakfast sausage with a slight balance of sweet and pepper.

Coupled with the establishment’s home-made dijon mustard, this little guy shows me it’s not all about size.

I am elated to see a beef sausage for the first time in Mumbai - I’ve been on a fruitless hunt for the past few years, to no avail. More traditionally made with pork,  the establishment wanted to push the boundaries in terms of meat variety, so the thick, dark and handsome beef chorizo was born.

Woah. It’s spicy alright, with a peppery aftertaste which leaves the tongue scalding in a way that locals will relish.

I am coerced to try the chicken tikka sausage. Not one to be inspired by derived forms of sausage, I reluctantly accept and am instantly cheered. So magical is the authenticity of flavour that if I shut my eyes, one would think they were eating whole chicken pieces fresh from the tandoor.

It is nice to see experimentation which is playful, yet true to the flavour’s heritage. The absence of the usual pork fat used to bind sausages does not detract from the dish at all.

I finish with the Pork and Pistachio salami. Derived from the classic German recipe, the flesh is mildly sweet in flavour, however for my spice-obsessed palate, the lack of zing is sorely felt and is unassuaged by the interesting texture brought by the finely sliced pistachio.

Initially I am here only to sample the charcuterie, however to make my story a little meatier (excuse the pun) I decide to sample a few from each of the Artisan sections and truly go the whole hog (okay, enough now).

The signature Artisan salad is like the nerd from high school who suddenly made it big - overdressed and soggy, lacking the vital crunch needed from a good set of greens. The fetta is almost tasteless, as is the duck, although good quality.

I spend the 30 seconds chewing looking for maybe a surprise pop of flavour, before miserably concluding that only some salads carry the cool factor.

The Jamon sandwich on the other hand is the captain of the football team, positively grinning with cheer. I bite into freshly toasted French bread which dissolves between my teeth in its warm doughy softness, bursting to the seams with Spanish Serrano ham well-lubricated with melting cheese and a fresh burst of tomato.

The heartiness of the sandwich makes the diner want to grin from ear to ear thanks to flavours which are unerringly European.

I finish with a selection from the Chocolaterie. What is lacking in architectural form, beauty and design makes up for in taste - the chocolate macaron collapses easily under my bite in a soft crumble, with a sweetness that is prim and refined.

The orange macaron is more dramatic - the concentration of sweetness and taste leads the diner to question if they are in fact, eating an orange thanks to the intensity of the chewy centre.

The tea and sesame white chocolate is a polite, subtle offering with nuances of green tea; the sesame, while undetected visually carries through the tastebuds.

The caramel chocolate is a punch in the face with rich dark chocolate and a smooth caramel centre where the concentration of flavour resides, while the slightly more conservative macadamia brings up the rear, rather obviously nutty in flavour which is balanced by the milkiness of the chocolate.

These two would be fantastic with an espresso or a red wine.

The Sofitel certainly adheres to stringent health standards: it is only five-star hotel in Mumbai which is ISO-2000 certified, the sausages are marketed as lacking the usual ammonia taste prevalent in other varieties found elsewhere. All components are used up within three days or thrown out. My cheeky question about freezing is met with a gasp. Mais, non!

I am pleased to see the prices are reasonably competitive for each of the cured meats - suitably in line with what one would pay at a local butcher - shattering the misconception that five star hotel deli food is solely the domain of the expat or the overly-discerning Indian.

The service differs from waiter to waiter - varying from genuine to patronising, with most staff difficult to catch hold of. Service is not about just being ‘nice’ - it is about identifying the needs of the consumer and catering to this.

On the whole, the Artisan has recognised the need to offer more to the consumer in terms of taste and variety and has made a sincere effort to marry the charm of Paris with the spice of India in high-quality, thoughtfully prepared dishes.

With the revamped menu less than one month old, as of now one is yet to determine if this idea will resonate with clientele or just a novelty - let’s wait and see.

Food 8/10, service 7/10.

Artisan is located at The Sofitel Hotel, C 57, Bandra Kurla Complex. Bandra East.


Note: I tasted sample sizes of each dish - pictures are not indicative of actual dish size and quantity.

HAAGEN-DAZS CAFE, BANDRA WEST

Häagen-Dazs India held a media briefing to introduce a new patisserie line by the name of HD Cafe, encompassing sumptuous cakes, cupcakes, tarts and macarons.

The brand has teamed up with Twinings to formulate pairings of tea which go best with each dessert in the HD Cafe range to bring back the age-old custom of high tea dining.

Twinings orange, mango and cinnamon honey tea is a traditional uplifting breakfast tea, tangy with citrus notes, a hint of spice and an acerbic aftertaste which permeates the tongue, inducing a lemony cringe.

Sipped alone, the tea is somewhat unsettling; but never fear, panacotta is here.

The strawberry panacotta has an authentically smooth, creamy texture with resonances of vanilla which are enhanced by a gooey strawberry sauce.

The sourness of the tea is assuaged by the sweetness of the dessert so that both flavours cancel each other out and make for pleasant eating.

The texture of the strawberry seeds provides an interesting twist as the concoction glides gracefully down the throat.

Twinings green tea with mint is surprisingly subtle in flavour: most green teas tend to overpower in terms of strength, making most undrinkable by the time the final dregs are sipped. Not so with this variant: two minutes of infusion produces a gentle potion with a ting of mint.

Diners are advised to pair this with HD Cafe's signature dish, the New York baked cheesecake. A rare recipe, this classic is baked for three hours and laid to rest for one hour. I wonder if all the trouble is worth it.

My spoon disappears into a cake which collapses in a tizzy of fluffiness - rather pleasantly deceptive as upon first glance, the dessert appears quite firm and sturdy. The consistency of the cake is so intricate that it almost has the lightness of cream, without the tackiness.

The vanilla tone provides a heightened sensation to the green tea; the caramel providing an additional dimension of sweet lubrication, with a thinner than usual biscuit base.

The richness of the cheesecake results in a dessert that, while indulgent, is extremely heavy.

Traditionally used for digestion, Twinings Assam tea has fiercely bold tones which usually require sugar and milk to dilute.

This is paired with HD Cafe's vegetarian-friendly blueberry muffin, which is made using strictly 'muffin-approved' butter, a specially formulated condiment whose flavour and consistency ensures the taste of the muffin remains untarnished.

Blueberries reign proudly atop a base encrusted with a fruit centre, leading to a muffin which is delicate in its sweetness. Sporadically placed blueberries dissolve in the mouth with each bite.

The combination of both tea and dessert leads to a neutralisation of palate in terms of sugar and sour.





Next up is the gentle, calming yet personable Darjeeling tea. This is to be paired with an eggless, white chocolate tart, the newest addition to HD Cafe.

The dessert contains an exciting pop of raspberry which contrasts well with the refined sweetness of the crust and the suave liquid chocolate centre.

The whole thing eats much like a biscuit - raspberry shortcake to be exact.





Twinings Earl Grey blend is very strong and bitter, with nuances of bergamot.

This is paired with a specially formulated, Earl Grey chocolate mousse and topped with a white truffle macaron.

The mousse is fluffy with a base akin to chocolate cake, making it a dessert that is multi-dimensional and the highlight of the evening.

The macaron has a subtle, fluffy almond touch which contrasts sharply with the sharp tea flavour. In spite of all the elements, this is a dessert which is light and airy.





The patisserie offerings at HD Cafe emulate the ice-cream offered by Häagen-Dazs - extremely high quality, with personable flavours characteristic of classic European desserts.

It is hard to believe such authentic desserts are now available in Bombay; diners previously being subjected to the dismal offerings at low-budget coffee chains or having to fork out for the Parisian experience at dizzingly expensive, high-end restaurants.

The pairing of tea and dessert makes for a sophisticated association which brings back the fine art of high tea dining, to make it fashionable for the new generation.

Dessert - 9.5.

HD Cafe is located at Sagar Fortune, Waterfield Rd, Bandra West.

GUPPY BY AI, MAHALAXMI

Guppy by Ai is the latest pop-up restaurant to spawn at the former Olive in Mahalaxmi Racecourse.

A follow-on from the famous flagship restaurant in Delhi, the menu features a condensed version of the establishment's signature dishes of Japanese cuisine including sushi, sashimi and mains.

Tiptoeing through the doors sees one whisked away in a proverbial whirlwind and transported to a place far from the hustle and bustle of Bombay.

Lights are dimmed to a whisper while a singer croons softly, strumming a guitar: this setting is as romantic as you can get. And I love it.

Photo Credit: businesstoday.intoday.in

The wine list is small and not fantastic - mostly obscure labels, with storage an issue - each bottle I request comes out ice cold.

I order three dishes in quick succession, however they come out in a funny reverse order which has a detrimental effect on the taste of the final meal- wait and see.

I'm thrilled by the mention of miso marinated black cod, having been privy to a version at another establishment which induced a rush of adrenaline and left me speechless. I hope this will be the same.

The piece of fish which turns up looks huge; presented on a large stone, it sizzles away merrily. I dig in and am underwhelmed by the taste - while it is good, very good - it has not been marinated for long enough, which means the flavour is not as intense as one would have hoped.

First-timers will be happy enough, however miso cod aficionados will be left unsatiated, waiting for the all-too familiar hit which never comes.

The size of the fish is generous and can be shared by two people.

Next the pork belly turns up. Cutely cut squares rest on skewers drizzled with soy honey and sesame seeds.

Not expecting much, I pop one into my mouth. Holy mother of... this is what I've been waiting for!! The combination of fleshy pork and sweetness of sauce coupled with the crunch of the sesame seeds makes for a glutton's paradise.

The flavour punch of the belly makes up for the lacklustre cod. What perfection.

Photo credit: elle.in

The tuna tataki is something I was expecting to arrive as an entrée, however its unfashionably late entrance means the clean freshness of the fish has been lost after the richness of the pork belly.

The artful placement of leeks, pickled onions and salad add a zingy, crunchy element to the thickly cut fish, with spicy wasabi bringing up the rear.

Certainly it would have been a great dish had it come out earlier with the palate first been subjected to its clever mix of flavours. Normally a raw fish fanatic, I find myself drowning each piece of fish in soy sauce to wrench some flavour from it.

The service at Guppy by Ai is spectacular - each guest is greeted warmly and with genuine friendliness.

Even if the staff do not know the answer to something, they make it their priority to find out in an efficient and classy fashion. Each step of the way, the diner is treated like royalty; this made for a happy experience, even if the food and wine were not 100 per cent up to the famous mark.

The gentle, lulling outdoor setting makes for a magical experience and brings back the romance of dining al fresco.

I'm sad this restaurant is a limited pop-up. The good ones always get away.

Service 10, Food 9.

Guppy by Ai is located at the Amateur Rider's Building, Mahalaxmi Racecourse, Mahalaxmi.

PLEASE DON’T TELL, LOWER PAREL

It’s finally here. Please Don’t Tell, modelled after the US concept of a speakeasy (clandestine bars which illegally sold alcohol during the Prohibition era) revels in the mystery of its troubled past to bring Mumbaikars yet another dining experience.

I enter the building to find a small room with a large red phone booth. I am confused - is it a lift? I get inside and brace myself to go up. Buttons are pressed and another secret door opens to the side of the booth, revealing a grungy, dimly lit bar pumping with Lenny Kravitz. I am baffled.

Grey is everywhere: in the roughly exposed backdrop, to spray-painted walls and the stone-walled bar, the high ceiling. Waiters run around wearing t-shirts with slogans that scream attitude: “Part of my job is to act interested in what you’re talking about.” Oh-kay then.

The menu, like a rebellious teenager has a lot to say, regardless of whether you want to hear it - starting with a cheeky “ATTENTION FREELOADERS” section for diners to garner wifi details, to strict instructions to tip the waiters well.

Photo credit: bpb.com

I order the Esoteric cocktail, which arrives sporting a huge syringe filled with orange. A deconstructed version of the popular cocktail Sex On The Beach, the bartender combines all the elements in a theatrical display.

The flavours of the peach schnapps, orange juice and cranberry make for an authentic rendition, however the taste of the vodka does not permeate the drink. Either that, or I’m way too much of a hardened alcoholic to taste liquor anymore.

The concept of the menu is ‘nuts’ - in the psychological rather than culinary sense. The concept is not just Indian food, but a mish mash of signature dishes from a variety of countries around the world.

I begin with the Middle East Conspiracy with lamb chunks. This is a fun sharing plate, the lamb is saucily lubricated and tangy with strong nuances of tomato which merge beautifully with the creamy hummous.

The flavours are personable and confident, with a good amount of spice which rouses the tastebuds from their slumber. The bread is wonderfully soft and easy to chew, making carbs fun.

The carnivore in me however yearns for more lamb to devour; in an ideal world there would literally be chunks of meat rather than conservatively small, diced pieces. Apart from this, as a whole the dish is fantastic.

The Sex and The City turns up. Unable to reconcile the fact that my favorite tv show now represents an interpretation of traditional keema pav, I reluctantly dig in to a dish which is a healthier version of the street offering I’m used to.

Creatively presented with dollops of finely minced mutton balanced precariously atop bread cylinders, this interpretation has less oil, better quality bread, and it won’t give me a stomach upset afterwards.

The underlying flavours are not overly raucous - the keema is conservative in spice while the bread emulates the butteriness found in street versions. Those used to fiery versions of this staple may not be satisfied.

Again I wish there had been a little more meat to go around; the bread alone is a little dry once the keema at the top of the cylinder is chomped off.

The Sticky Fingers arrive; fried chicken wings jostling for space in a simple, deep metal bowl.

The accompanying sauce is addiction in a bowl: tangy with sour notes which cause the diner to inhale sharply as the flavour hits the tastebuds. I pour the liquid all over the wings and am transported to a universe of crunch.

Guaranteed to be a crowd-pleaser, the serving size is more than enough for two people to share; however due to the messiness of handling the dish, make sure it’s with your best buddy rather than a first date.

The Undercover Greek are falafel gyros which are presented to look like cute little mini burgers.

The chickpea flavour of the falafel is surprisingly authentic, while the bread makes you want to pull its squishy cheeks.

The accompanying salsa provides a cheeky hit of tang to a dish which is too good to be vegetarian.

Please Don’t Tell is a restaurant which is comfortable in its own skin. In spite of the effort made to exude an attitude, it is unpretentious in both food and service.

Owners Abhayraj Singh Kohli, Ashish Sajnani and Juspreet Singh Walia wanted to create an industrial space that when entered, ignores the reality of the outside world.

The fundamental idea of the establishment was to create a community via a membership program which allows a select few access to the bar at any time, even when full. Only another member can invite a friend to be part of the program, which also grants the special few a 15% discount.

The rest of us are doomed to waiting in line to enter and paying full price - although it’s not so bad, as no dish exceeds 600 INR.

I am shown out via a secret exit around the side of the building. I feel as though no-one notices I’ve been missing. Excellent. Back to it, then.

Service 9, Food, 8.5.

Please Don’t Tell is located at Oasis Complex, Kamala Mills, Lower Parel.

SALT WATER CAFE, BANDRA

Notorious for great drink deals and spectacular food, I eye tables crammed with the who's who of Bandra - makeup artists, models, producers. I'm 15 minutes late and already my table has been taken. The fact that I have to wait to get another table is the sign of an 'It' place.

I can't help but notice the latest and greatest tribute to the inner floozy: The Never Ending Glass of Sangria; Monday to Friday from 4pm to 7pm, or if you feel like bunking work to get smashed, 11am to 4pm. Faaaaabulous.

The never ending wine list features a separate, easy to peruse, summarised list of international wines available by the glass, to save customers the stress of wading through the full drinks menu.

The accessibility of international wines by the glass at Salt Water acknowledges the Indian consumer's escalating interest in wine and a confident fearlessness on the establishment's part in wine storage.

International beers such as Leffe, Hoegaarden and Schneider are also available, with fresh juices for the non-sheraabis.

Photo credit: zomato.com

Delighted by the mention of duck, I go right ahead and order the salad. A glass bowl brimming with colours is set in front of me and I dig in.

Zesty mango pieces contrast sharply with the robust flavour of fresh duck meat, with smatterings of wild rice granola which provide crunch and sweetness. Reminiscent of rice bubbles, the inclusion of this unusual element in a salad lends a satisfyingly different texture to the usual.

Water chestnuts provide a soft, starchy consistency which blend well with crunchy romaine lettuce leaves, while sweet pomegranate seeds pop pleasantly around the mouth. The dish is finished with sesame seeds and sprigs of dill.

The chef has utilised just the right amount of duck to gel with the other components; in this dish, there is no overbearing star. Every ingredient is showcased equally in a complementary ensemble cast which has been chosen with care.

The lamb burger is huge: I am thrilled by its size. I spy two kinds of cheese: fetta and cheddar. Bringing up the rear are pickles, lettuce, caramelised onions and finally, juicy lamb which has been cooked to medium so its juices spurt out with every mouthful.

My mouth is held ransom by a rein of cheese. I struggle to break free, then surrender to the burger. The chips are uncomplicated, crunchy and incredibly addictive, lightly seasoned with chicken salt.

The aroma of melting parmesan cheese reaches me before the dish does, wafting lazily around in a cartoon-esque fashion. My mouth starts to salivate. I appreciate the waiter's OCD tendency of placing the dish just perfectly, so the branding of the restaurant is not upside down.

Basil leaves recline atop a simple dish of spaghetti accessorised with cherry tomatoes and cut black kalamata olives. The entire concoction is incredibly rich and saucy with fresh bursts of greeting from the tomatoes and saltiness from the olives.

The tomato paste lubricates the dish wonderfully with a hint of garlic and spice, betraying its lineage as Arrabiata-inspired.

There are enough elements in the dish to keep me eating, no thought of meat enters my mind. Rather I feel meat would only serve to complicate the dish and detract from its charming simplicity. I feel that if I were in Europe, this is how the Italians would do it. Va bene!

The dish placed in front of me looks attractively architectural in form, with rice crackers forming a curtain for what lies beneath. I draw the crackers from the scenery and say hello to imported Brazilian pork belly astride mashed potatoes. My heart skips a beat.

The pork is everything I dreamed it to be: smoky with a 50/50 ratio of fat to robust, superior quality meat, rather than just being all fat like the local variety.

The mashed potato, caramelised onion and accompanying jus turn this dish into a magical experience, while the sophisticated, lightly spiced pea puree allows for easy integration of textures without dumbing down the overall plate.

The accompanying rice crackers add an audible dimension to the dish with resounding crunches which echo across the room, much to my embarassment.

The 'proper' way to do pork belly is to have the skin exceedingly crispy, which is achieved by cranking up the oven to extremely high levels and roasting the skin for 20 minutes.

During peak times at the establishment this is difficult to monitor, so Salt Water Cafe's soft skin interpretation is offered to customers who are sometimes none the wiser and appreciate the palatable quality of the dish served.

The dessert is beautifully and artistically presented garnished with a crunchy honeycomb biscuit which has been stuck into a very soft, warm cheesecake. My spoon glides through the fluffy exterior and right through the granular biscuit base.

The flavours are delicately sweet and immaculate, with separate biscuit pieces served on the side that bring an interactive element to the piece, allowing the consumer to experience differing shades of flavour as one switches between elements.

This dessert experience is akin to eating a cloud.

It is refreshing to see that Salt Water Cafe prioritises the serving of international quality meals over profits with many of its dishes, using imported meat for many dishes and pricing them at a competitive rate where the margin for themselves is very little.

The service at SWC is intuitive but not suffocating. Waiters bustle about but come back every so often to show they're around and ask about the quality of the dish. In terms of training and service, the Impresario Group has really stood out in providing an international standard.

During peak times of breakfast and lunch, SWC could perhaps introduce the concept of table-sharing as there were a number of singles occupying four person tables. This could perhaps also break the social barriers that many Mumbaikars implement in their day -to- day life.

With an incredible food selection spanning breakfast, soups, salads, sandwiches, burgers, pastas, mains and desserts, if I had to eat at only one place in Mumbai for the rest of my life, this would be it.

Ambience 9, Food 10.

Salt Water Cafe is located at 87 Chapel Road, Rose Minar Annexe, Next to Mount Carmel Church, Bandra West.

Photo credit: burrp.com