FAT MAN'S CAFE, BANDRA

Just the sight of this adorable cafe makes me grin. Inspired by pop art, occasional brightly coloured chairs, tables and kitsch picture frames catch my attention along with the cartoons of the 'Fat Man' in different avatars - Fat Man Goes Travelling, Fat Man The Painter, Fat Man At The Gym.

A wall featuring cheeky sayings makes for an interesting point of discussion and in spite of the place being packed out, the owners are incredibly hospitable - making one feel as though an instant friendship has been struck simply by dining there.

Will l leave the establishment a Fat Model? Only time can tell.

Photo credit: Jayesh Sachdev for Quirkbox

I order a mojito to start. Brimming with fresh mint leaves and resembling a lemon, lime and bitters beverage, it goes down a treat - so much so that I order another. And it doesn't even have alcohol in it!

It is admittedly a far cry from a regular mojito, however I'm not complaining.

I order the bacon-wrapped prawns with some trepidation, having only been disappointed by a previous establishment's overambitious efforts with the same dish, which resulted in lacklustre bacon and prawns which taste like an old shoe.

Fat Man's rendition leaves me grinning from ear to ear. Both prawns and bacon are wonderfully fresh and prepared carefully to ensure each flavour complements the other; the saltiness of the bacon and its glorious fat positively embraces the lightly peppered, herbed prawn.

The bacon quality is fantastic and to my surprise, local. The prawns have been tenderly grilled to perfection and it is all I can do to not gobble up the whole thing.

The beef cheeseburger plonks itself down at my place, resembling the Fat Man himself, if he were a cow. Filled with melting cheese, bacon, lettuce, pickles and a monstrously huge beef patty, each bite is a stairway to heaven. This is comfort food at its finest.

The cheese is unprocessed (thank goodness) and the remaining ingredients all work together in harmony to form a tried and tested classic staple.

I find myself becoming full halfway through. Can this be?

The chicken sliders pale in comparison. Perhaps the wrong thing to order straight after the colossal cheeseburger (or perhaps I have a masculine preoccupation with size), the dish looks miniscule even though it is standard slider size.

The dish is satisfactory - the meat is a little bland and appears to be processed. The presence of scarmoza cheese manages to make the slider somewhat palatable, but I am not compelled to finish the dish.

I order the vegetarian lasagne with little expectations and am struck by the abudance of cheese that materialises in front of me.

A sizable block of lasagne reigns proudly in a pool of fresh tomato and olive oil, with two pieces of garlic bread looking on.  I wrestle with the lasagne, trying to cut a portion. The cheese holds my spoon captive. I love the drama this dish brings.

I finally manage to secure an area to attack. My mouth meets aubergine and mushroom, lubricated by the tomato chunks and held together by pasta which makes my tastebuds do a jig.

I find myself unable to tear away from this dish. Vegetarian lasagne, let's spend our lives together.

For a cafe that is in its opening week, Fat Man's has definitely done its PR right - the place is booming, so much so that people are being regretfully turned away.

There are small issues that every establishment faces in its first week such as dishes which take a while to arrive, but are largely worth the wait, thanks to the love and care put into each component and the smiling service.

I think I can now change my name by deed poll, to Julia Fatt.

Ambience 9, Food 8.5.

Fat Man's Cafe is located at ONGC Building 3, Near Lilavati Hospital, Bandra West.

LEVO, VERSOVA

This colossal, brightly lit building sprang up out of nowhere one day on an otherwise quiet suburban street in Four Bungalows.

Inside is like the movie Inception: a building, within a building, within a building- both an indoor and outdoor dining section, separate indoor and outdoor private function areas as well as a banquet hall.

Photo credit: burrp.com

The unnecessarily vast menu offers everything from Thai and Chinese, to Indian and Continental. To add to the confusion, another version of appetizers are listed at the very end of the menu, after the dessert.

I ask for a wine recommendation, maybe a nice international red. The fumbling, nervous waiter rattles off something incoherent. I ask for a tasting. After 10 minutes two glasses finally arrive, filled with a decent sample size of a pleasant, full-bodied red at room temperature. Pleased, I nod my approval.

The wine that turns up is chilled to the bone, uncorked and of a cheap local variety. I am utterly disgruntled, at the waiter and myself for not checking the name of the wine properly.

Photo credit: boomsbeat.com

As is customary at any restaurant, I first order appetizers, then mains. Thirty minutes pass. I start getting restless. Imagine my horror when all five dishes arrive at once, the final few becoming cold by the time I got to them.

The entrée of grilled Valencia tiger prawns with smoked salmon and ginger citrus reduction arrive looking bafflingly salad-like, with mashed potato perched underneath.

With grilled food it is customary to provide sauce on the side, should the meat wish to be lightly dipped into the condiment.  The prawns have been marred by a quivering dollop of sauce, resulting in a soggy, curried texture.

The oversimplification of this dish is extremely disappointing - I want to do the work of dipping and tasting myself, yet here it is done for me in a disastrous fashion. The smoked salmon only serves to add further confusion and does not accentuate the muddled flavour of the prawns.

The pink-peppercorn infused scallop with wild rocket and saffron coconut jus is a pleasant surprise in terms of taste, but again I expected it to look different.

Vaguely resembling dumplings, the balance of the sweet coconut jus complements the mild scallops perfectly.

The presence of rocket, though mentioned on the menu is nowhere to be seen on the plate.

As always, I decide to sample the lamb chops - a Middle-Eastern interpretation of oregano and garlic, with dill flavoured labneh. A good-sized portion of tandoori lamb chops or barrah kebab, materialises in front of me.

Admittedly deliciously authentic in flavour, lamb quality is fantastic with a great deal of meat on the bone; they are however yet again not 'Middle Eastern' as was described on the menu.

 For the main I order Creole steak and prawns - certified angus fillet mignon rubbed with Creole spices, garlic white wine prawns with forked potatoes.

An interpretation of the famous 'Surf & Turf', the meat quality is good, however overcooked for the requested 'medium' and difficult to hack into without a steak knife. The prawns accompanying the dish are phenomenal - grilled to perfection.

One grave error in this dish are the potatoes, which were described on the menu as 'forked'. The proper method of preparation is to oven roast whole potatoes then graze them with a fork.

I dismally note the exact same mashed potato which has been served with the grilled prawn entrée.

At the end I decide to sample a special tasting plate of dessert.

The chocolate decadence is light and fluffy with an appropriate balance of sweetness and crumble. With polished, sophisticated tones, the cake is of such fine quality that chocolate sauce is not needed to lubricate the dish.

Authentically baked New York style, the cheesecake is rich and creamy with a simple, refined biscuit base. The berry compote is thick and personable and marries well with the resonating vanilla tones of the cake.

The basil panacotta intrigues me - I've never had one which is savory. I dig in to find this interpretation commences daringly with sprinkles of basil on top, mobilising the diner in a strong chokehold. I press on with the dedication of a WWE wrestler. The dessert then graduates to a mystifying clear jelly, leaving a scaldingly bitter after-taste.

This is nothing like any panacotta I have ever tried, nor ever wish to again.

Levo is a promising food establishment, however small tweaks need to be made in order to reach the level of fine dining the exterior and menu suggests.

The service encompassed a chaotic gaggle of waiters, either running in circles or socialising amongst themselves or even worse, staring into space. Most of the time they were simply unavailable for serving and were uninformed about the dishes.

The discrepancy between each dish was so great that it is difficult to provide an accurate rating overall for food - dishes were either lusciously delectable, or so bad they make one hesitant to use as ammo in a food fight.

Ambience 6/10, Food 7/10.

Levo is located at Mukti business park, Modeltown, Versova, Mumbai.

SING KONG, KHAR WEST

The name Sing Kong is a bid to encompass everything from Singapore to Hong Kong and beyond - in other words, every element of Asian cuisine, with a heavy focus on appetisers.

As far as appearances go, the interior of Sing Kong resembles a the food hall of a typical four star hotel in Mumbai: stark grey and black, peppered with a mystifying grass theme and crowned with the lawn-covered head of a moose. Yes, a moose.

 A medium-sized open kitchen, a small, unimpressionable bar and even smaller sushi bar hold fort, the latter showing no evidence that it performs any such kind of function. What the decor lacks in terms of taste, I hope it makes up for in terms of food taste (bad joke, but you loved it).

In spite of all this, the abundance of natural light manages to elevate my mood along with the laughter and gossip of merry aunties at lunch and a classy soundtrack of acoustic covers of the latest top 40 chart busters.

Photo Credit: mumbaiboss.com

I begin with the Galangal (ginger) and Lemongrass Martini. This drink is prepared by soaking ginger and lemongrass in vodka to infuse it with flavour before combining with lemongrass juice.

The sign of a strong, classy drink is the indiscernable taste of alcohol. With tones not unlike traditional Thai tea, this rings true with the galangal and lemongrass martini; the beverage is smooth and rounded with distinct herbal tones.

However I did not feel any effect of inebriation after guzzling down the martini- a sure sign of either my increasing tolerance to the hard stuff, or a drink which is light on alcohol.

I dive in with the assorted dumpling basket. Allow me to preface by saying dumplings do not overly arouse my interest so if one manages to appeal to me, I consider it a miracle.

The fish and sesame dumpling is filled with seasoned basa - suprisingly palatable as the spices used brings out exciting character traits I was unaware the neutral basa could possess. The sesame seeds astride the dim sum give texture; coupled with the "house screaming chilli sauce" the result is a fiery, potent cauldron of flavour. Great start!

The crystal shrimp dumpling holds delicate yet distinct ginger flavours which marry well with the large prawn, however fairly standard as far as dim sum goes.

The flavour of the spiced broccoli leaves a phenomenal impact with absolutely no need of non-vegetarian relief. The softness of the dumpling is juxtaposed by a spicy, crunchy interior.

With a consistency resembling unbuttered, thickly mashed potato and largely neutral flavours to match, I am bored by the wasabi, edamame and water chestnut.

A nauseaous hue of green, the spinach and corn is filled with so many vegetables that it eats like a salad, however displays much personality in terms of texture. Coupled with the chilli sauce it can be made interesting.

The aromatic chicken dumping holds an unusual pink exterior, thanks to the presence of beetroot. It features delicately spiced minced chicken infused with flavours of chilli and lemongrass.

The Crispy Philadelphia Onmaki is made of battered rice, avocado, salmon and philadelphia cream cheese. A unique dish entirely conceptualised by Sing Kong's head chef, it seems incredible that noone has attempted this combination before in Mumbai.

The familar combination of avocado, salmon and cream cheese resonates well with battered sticky rice and proves to be addictive.

The use of light soya with its reduced salt content does not overpower the sushi with the usual formidable flavours characteristic of ordinary soy sauce.

In contrast, the Temaki (conical) sushi fails to charm, eschewing any hint of taste even though it holds almost identical ingredients of avocado, salmon and cucumber.

The rice lacks the appropriate amount of stickiness and the seaweed is soft and dull; any attempt to assuage this with soy sauce fails.

This is unsettling as mastery of the basics should be observed with something as particular as sushi.

The Roasted Pork Bun comprises a banana leaf encasing a dough bun neatly tucked with meat and cucumber.

Made on premises, the dough is exceedingly, comfortingly soft, while the pork is robust, yet delicately flavoured with honey- the equivalent of a gentle giant.

The accompanying plum sauce only serves to heighten the experience while lemongrass flavours permeate throughout to balance the sweetness. The cucumber acts as a neutraliser for the flavours.

Perhaps if more pieces of pork were added, this dish could reach star status.

Photo credit: zomato.com

The Galangal Soy Marinated Beef Skewers arrive and blow me away with their size and presentation. Hanging on sticks of lemongrass which saturate the huge hunks of meat with flavour, they stomp in, hand-in-hand with wasabi mayonnaise.

I tear into the flesh like a neanderthal and fall into a trance of soy and ginger. The local meat has been lovingly marinated for over 24 hours and hence has a satisfyingly succulent consistency; long used to the pitiful red meat offerings of mostly bone and sinew, I am thrilled by the unadulterated chunkiness of it all.

The wasabi mayonnaise has a distinct kick to it when sampled alone, but largely disappears into the heaviness of the meat when used as a condiment.

Nightmares of Indian-Chinese cuisine from initial naive dining experiences to this day disturb my sleep, hence my ambivalence towards trying the Pan Dan Leaf-Wrapped Cottage Cheese. I decide to give it another shot. If this doesn't turn out like chilli paneer, I'll be yodelling Sing Kong's praises from the rooftops.

Initially, it is the consistency of the accompanying sauce of this dish which first catches my eye - finely chopped coriander, chilli and ginger swimming in soy. My tongue takes a quick dip and emerges sharply refreshed.

Now for the big guy. I wrest the fragile cheese from the protective cocoon of its banana leaf and place it on my tongue, where it virtually melts away to nothing. Oh my god. The cheese is marinated for many hours in soy sauce before it is prepared, giving it an even more dramatically soft consistency than the beef skewers.

It is heartening to see that local meat and cheese can match up to the quality and taste of imported fare, if only it is given an appropriate amount of attention and preparation. Yodelay-hee-hoo!

The food at Sing Kong is undoubtedly A class, however the disappointing thing about my experience was that much of what I wanted to order was unavailable: pork ribs, yellowfin tuna, roast duck.

This is due to the overwhelming popularity of the said dishes as well as non-local suppliers which make predicting demand and logistics no mean feat. In another blow, sashimi was not offered on the menu.

The staff are courteous and well-meaning, however could be a little more attentive to needs - three times I requested that each dish come out one at a time and only after I had finished with the dish I was eating. On one occasion, my plate was whisked away from me before I finished lingering over a particularly delicious dish.

No doubt Sing Kong is worthy of its favored rank in Asian dining in Mumbai, with mostly perfectly executed dishes and excellent quality of carefully sourced produce spanning India and overseas.

Prices are reasonable and in line with quality of dish - this is definitely not a restaurant which demands exorbitant prices for an international brand name, rather than the food.

Ambience 7, Food 9.

Sing Kong is located at Pinnacle House, First Floor, 15th Rd above Sancho's, Khar West.

Photo credit: mumbaimag.com

SMOKEHOUSE DELI, BANDRA

I walk into this refurbished, recently opened property and my heart skips a beat. Look at all the pretty colours!
Never before have I seen a restaurant celebrate the essence of femininity so candidly: in the lace doilies and curtains, the pastel lampshades hanging stylishly over each table, the incredible attention to detail in the intricate drawings of shelves adorning the walls; a pantry holding jars of candy, vegetables, cheese, wine, cake, framed photographs and of course, a toaster.

More than simply being beautiful, it is the character of the place which floors me: glass topped tables underneath which ancient black and white photographs are lodged; solemn family portraits and merry children at play, suspended in time and regally immortalised.

I feel as though I am in the house of a hip bachelorette, or trendy grandmother.

A glance at the cocktail list affirms this as I gaze upon row after row of female-oriented tipples; an expanse of Indian and international red and white wines, champagne, daquairis (referred to as 'Freezies'), margarita, martini and mojito variations with fruit, herb and floral-infused vodkas.

I order a Chilean cab sav, which I am pleased to see is available by the glass. It arrives promptly and I am overjoyed to see it has been lightly chilled to the precise temperature.

(I formerly neglected to see the 'importance' of refrigerating red wine, thinking it to be a horrid urban legend largely invented to mask the incompetence of restaurants in storing alcohol in the Indian heat, however in this happy instance, this is not the case).

A pack of Aunties matching the decor of the place arrive, preening and cawing loudly like peacocks. They see me sitting alone and throw me a sympathetic look, before resuming their gossip. Flanked by another kitty party, there is now a distinct 'Get out of my room, no boys allowed' vibe. I'm not complaining.

I order the soup and half sandwich combo, which appears to be a suitably price-conscious solution for lunch. The seafood broth makes an instant impact on the throat with a hit of wasabi which surprisingly adds no obvious Japanese element to the dish.

With an abundance of basa, prawns and mushrooms topped with chives, the concoction is hearty yet light, with absolutely no need to add freshly cracked pepper for flavour.

The sandwich is an ode to Mediterranean healthiness: toasted soy and linseed bread overflowing with green, red and yellow capsicum, zucchini, lettuce, cheese and vivacious tahini, which packs a solid punch. It takes all my willpower not to finish the entire dish of both soup and salad, and we're only on course one.

The waiter, admittedly stunned by my large order, tells me, "Keep some place ma'am, you have a long way to go."

I reply with a grin, "I eat a lot."

While waiting for the next course, I continue to gaze around. It's rare that the decor and atmosphere of a restaurant can make me smile so much. I feel like squealing with delight at each and every newly discovered detail. My orange Botkier bag matches the bread basket!

My beef salad arrives in an Asian-style bowl. A hush falls over the Aunties as 10 pairs of eyes scrutinise my dish from afar.

Decidedly Thai-looking, this cold salad comprises generous dashings of local tenderloin with sharp lime flavours throughout, permeating the blanched beans, sprouts, lettuce and freshly chopped chilli. There is a pleasing crunch to every zingy bite which is punctuated by the cracking of toasted peanuts.

The serve is generous, with enough flavour and elements to hold my attention.

I glance at the other menu and realise it is Burger Week at Smokehouse, a festival of the many variations of burgers available. After some perusal I decide on the Baconator, titillated by the Terminatoresque name. Hasta la vista, baby.

The Baconator gets its name due to the innovative chip dip of bacon bits mixed with mayonnaise. I dunk a heavenly, peri-salted french fry into it and evaluate. Not mind-blowing, but thankfully the fries are just as good on their own. The establishment could even look at using traditional Big Mac burger sauce: a combination of mayonnaise and sweet pickle relish.

The Brioche bun has been toasted and spread with oil and chilli flakes. The beef patty is wrapped with bacon and extra bacon bits have been added on top with mayonnaise. On the ground level, lettuce, tomato and pickle reside, overpowered by its swanky penthouse neighbours.

The result is a juicy, dripping food orgasm. The bacon is hickory smoked and fantastic quality: not just fat. The beef is good quality and does not have the dull aftertaste characteristic of buffalo. As one of the Aunties at the next table put it, with a giggle: "Main share nahin kar sakti."

During my messy tryst with the burger, the waiters stand and watch me from afar, smiling like proud papas.

I go for the lamb shanks. Lightly smoked, I pierce the flesh with my fork and it falls off the bone. Amazing. The flavours are peppery and robust, mixed with a thick gravy, yet not so much as to turn it into a curry, as normal restaurants would assume the customer wants.

The ice-cream scoop of mashed potato resembles a cloud. I dig in and am met with the perfect combination of garlic and butter. Adding to this is an eclectic vegetable compote consisting of tomato, green and yellow zucchini and chopped black kalamata olives.

The combination of the gravy, meat, vegetables and mash gives my mouth much to think about in terms of flavours of smokey, salty and garlicy, not to mention the abundance of textures.

My only complaint is that the dish was not piping hot.

I end with the panacotta. It arrives quivering like jelly, topped with blueberry compote and what looks like larvae, which turns out to be basil seeds.

Initially the look of the basil makes me uneasy; I have previously had a bad experience with restaurants who tried their hand at a savory panacotta. I need not be. The seeds, far from being savory add a sweet element of texture to the dish.

The panacotta with its custard-like consistency is unusually different to firmer variants I have experienced, yet not amiss with flavour.

The berry compote marries well with the creamy consistency of the dish and all elements end up merging into a sweet amalgamation which dissolves on the tongue.

Smokehouse Deli seems to instinctively know what the Indian consumer wants, with a hint of spice in everything, whether its fries, soup or a burger. The beauty is that spice does not define the dish; rather it adds dimension.

The menu is carefully composed by the Delhi and Mumbai branch head chefs who conceptualise different ideas from around the world, seasonally changing every six months. Where local meat can be used, it is: in salads and sandwiches. Steaks are imported along with certain fish unavailable in India, such as John Dory.

The waiters form an integral part of the backbone of the Smokehouse experience: genuinely pleased by everyone's obvious pleasure with the food, they are attentive and helpful, with a hint of charm. It's a refreshing change from the nervous, whimpering, incompetent subservience from most of the sub-standard, badly managed establishments.

Ambience 10, Food 10. It just doesn't get any better than this.

Smokehouse Deli is located at Clove At 33rd Road, B. R. Ambedkar Road, Opposite Brownie Point, Bandra West.

Photo credit: designpataki.com, huffingtonpost.com, bootlegger.in